My four
year old
cousin once
told me she
wanted to
marry me

My sister's
dog,
Scooby,
will try to
hump my leg
every chance
he gets

Gordy,
who's gay,
once told me
to give him a
call if I ever
went gay
myself

Apparently,
to adolescents,
animals,
and large
homosexual men,
I'm Brooke
Shields

If I were
at all
deviant
I'd apparently
be quite
happy

Instead,
I'm just
normal...

...and
alone