Eric won't date
vegetarians
because he thinks
they won't give him
oral sex

Eric thinks Steven Segal movies
are more realistic because they
pay extras more money so
Steven Segal can really
break their limbs

Eric thinks professional wrestling
is real and becomes
violently defensive
when you point out to him
that the guy punching the
other guy isn't even
making contact

Eric once bought a lock box
with two keys to keep his
porno mags in...
...he locked both keys in the box
so they'd be "safe"

Eric believes in Jesus Christ
as his personal savior

This is not a commentary
on religion